Why

I was thinking today that I am not worthy of being a dad. I know many of us feel that way, but today was harder than most. I began to doubt that I can take care of Diane and Jonathan the way I am supposed to. I know that this is a valley I am working through, but that does not make it easier.

Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord

The Message

I got the message yesterday from my daily reading. I looked at the verse in several versions of the bible, and the Message version brought more verses to mind.
It talks about the Lord's Protection and his eternal and ever reaching vision.

The victim's faint pulse picks up;
the hearts of the hopeless pump red blood
as you put your ear to their lips.
Orphans get parents,
the homeless get homes…
Psalm 10:17-18 The Message


Maybe we can remember the vision, and help fulfill the last two lines.

The words of a child

Never fails. You can be having a mediocre day and you child will make it all better for you. Jonathan started to learn Chinese this week. He know hello and pull. (thanks to Kai-Lan videos) He had mom call me so he could say hello in Chinese. "Ni-hao Daddy". Made the rest of the day seem like gold.

Unanswered Questions

Sometimes I am dumbfounded to answer seemingly simple questions:

What are you doing Daddy?
Why are you doing it Daddy?
Where are you Daddy? (standing in front me me)

And my favorite, (from me of course)

Lord, what have I done to deserve a little boy like Jonathan? Do I really deserve another one?

Questions I cannot answer.

Weird Weekend

The title says it all. We had a great weekend, until we got home....
back in abit.

Sand Box

Sand box, oh Sandbox, what have you done with my son?

Jon spent 4 hours in his sandbox to day and i was reminded of the simple things in life that make us happy.

Ecc 11:9 Be cheerful and enjoy life while you are young! Do what you want and find pleasure in what you see.

Thankful for you

Wow. Had a great time last night meeting other dads who will soon be fathers again. It was a good time learning where we were all at and where we are all going. I have to give thanks to the men for helping me renew my desire for adoption.
I had gotten to a low point a couple of weeks ago. And seriously was ready to never adopt again. I think the Lord and others had different ideas. Thank you for cheering my heart and renewing my spirit.

Feel free to share any bit of info you may have.

What is new?

The title of this post says it all. There is much going on in our lives, and I am learning more and more every day as a dad. I finally got the chance to bandage a finger as Jon got his finger stuck in a small whole in a toy bucket. I got to finally pick up a stack of boxes and bags in the grocery store after Jon dumped them on himself and the store floor. I got to finally freak-out over small stuff as I realized how afraid I was for him to do the things I did as a kid.

Maybe I will get better in time. Maybe not.

Sick little one

Today was a day that involved a little worry, and a little patience. Watching Jon be sick, made me realize what my parents may have gone through. I have a deep appreciation for what they did. I hope some day Jon will appreciate what we did.

Tantrums

I love having a 2year old, Laughter, giggling, hearing a loud "Daddy!!!" when I pick him up from day care. But what to do about the tantrums? Any suggestions?

Happy day

What a Joy today. I picked up Jon and he was almost ready to go. He surprised me with hugs and kisses. Makes a dad happy and content with a loving boy. He was good all night, and only fussed when told to go to bed, and got tucked in.

You know you are blessed when that happens.

How to?

Over the weekend I had the privilege to listen to a presentation on marriage. After 52 years of it the speaker knows what he is doing...
He told us men that marriage is as simple as A B C Adjustments Because of Commitment. He walked us through the ordination of marriage, and how to adjust a little better to our wives. I hope I can learn and apply. I plan to listen to a seminar on How to Raise Boys. Might help a bit as well.

Parenting while sick

I know it is nothing new, but parenting while sick is not easy. I have been sick for over a week, and am just now getting better. Not what I consider a fun thing. I must admit, Jon has been generally good to me during this time, but not good to mom. I wish I knew better ways of encouraging him rather than discouraging. I hope I find that soon.

Always Learning

I am always learning. I learned today that even the best intentions of mom and dad can leave the little ones fearful. I was happy to see he wants to be with us, but at the cost of a melt-down.
Today I also was reminded that Strong Friendships are hard to come by, and hard to maintain. I hope I do not lose any of the ones I have and can grow them into something special. My apologies for not working harder at them.

Important Decisions

Wow,
Where to go? We have been thinking and praying about another adoption. We have alittle guy that has been on Diane's mind for a while, and he is still available. Not sure where to go with him. Jon wants a sister... Normal, all his friends have sisters. What to do? My heart is torn, and I know he needs a loving family that can care for him.
Please pray for guidance for me and us all.

Who's in charge?

Today was hard. Been sick, and still need to take care of Jon. I never knew how hard it was to be a parent at all times. He wants to use the potty all the time. I mean ALL THE TIME. He just sits there hanging on for dear life and talking to the walls. Was I that crazy? (Dad, don't say a thing). I am definitely learning true patience. 2 and a half and he wants to be in charge. Heck, I know that I am not in charge... be he still needs to learn it.

Fun with Dad

Today was a day of learning just how much my son knows. He sat through a short movie at the theater. Thomas and the Run-A-way kite. Only 48 mins, but he still amazes me. Sat through it all and never complained, fussed, or cried. He was showing me that he appreciated doing something with me. I guess this is one way to feel happy to be a dad.

Hard Nights

Last night was a hard night. Jon woke around int he middle of the night and would not go back to bed. He ended up with us until around 4 and I had to take him to bed to even get some sleep. It is hard to see him dealing with fear. He had awoken yelling for momma, and she is such a loving heart she did what she figured would be best. I wish I knew what woke him, caused him to be afraid, and kept us all awake. I prayed over him and for him and all of us before bed, and continued through the night. Maybe tonight will be better.

Thankfulness

Today I give thanks to the men that helped us out with a kitchen project. I was overwhelmed and awe-struck with the timeliness and the strength shown. The group accomplished in 3 and a half hours what would have normally taken me days to complete. There is still work to do, but more time to get it done thank to the men that helped out. Thanks Guys.

Reward?

So, today i pondered whether or not to use rewards for good behavior. Until I needed to take away a privilege. Then the reward became a motivator. He had to earn back his DVD's after making a scene at a local grocery store. He did just that, earned it back. He seems to understand it better than I do.

Missing Dad

This morning I left early to go to my accountability group. I learned a lot from them this morning. First was that they can rally and help out when needed, and second, that we all think differently. I needed to learn both, and mostly the second part as an adoptive dad. Not every dad will want to be know as having adopted our kids. Some of us (myself) it is obvious, having adopted from Asia. Yet others adopted kids of similar nationality or looks. Neither is bad, and both are good. Just need to stay cognizant of it.

Where to start?

Sometimes I wonder if I am doing things correctly with my son. We adopted him from Taiwan, and have loved every minute of the travel and bringing him home. Yet two years later I sometime wonder if he is too much for me. Or is it, I am too much for him. I am learning the things that other have before me. Patience, gentleness, and the dreaded embarrassment are all things that have crept up in the last 6 months.

Where do I find the gentleness? and the patience? Not sure. But I have had my share of embarrassment.

Welcome!

Welcome to my new blog. I hope to be able to share ideas, and hopes for adoptive dads. Whether you recently adopted, in the process, or have been at it a long time I hope we can share our stories